hi boss, here is yourfavourite duck noodle! lucky that you called first,we kept this especially for you. great! where's the master chef mr hui? hey chimp, add more charcoal! stupid fool! delicious barbecue ducks! gotta try it! two seats for our nice couple here! hey waiter, how much? the bill please!
the bill for these lovely9 customers please. what? take a seat. yuck, it's filthy! the food's good. it's worth it. what would you like, sir? two hui's duck rice andtwo bowls of duck soup... we are in a hurry, please be quick! what's the hurry? we're quick.
don't bother to clean, the dirthas been here for many years! duck rice and soup for 2! can't sleep! hey! what are you doing? table for 2? two soups ready to serve! waiter, can you get rid of the dog? why should i? the dog's our lucky charm.it helps clean the floor! just get him out!
- just eat!- move your feet! this is too much! just give it a wipe. - here's your soup!- i've run out of tissues! no more? alan, give them 2 towels! right! your towels! the first one was cleaner!
- what? - don't you haveany napkins in here? ok i'll get you some toilet paper! no... thanks! yeah, it's okay! hong kong star "the horse"dashing from behind... faster! faster! hong kong star is catching up... hong kong star has overtaken 10 horses! yeah! looks like we have a winner!
what? he's stopped to scratch his balls! what's going on? he's gonna lose... damn it! he's lost! a cockroach! don't worry, it's dead now! i want to see your boss! hi, what's the matter? there's a cockroach in my soup! take it back and make another one. go!
hold it! i've drunk some already! i'm going for a hospital check-up... i will sue you! relax! do you thinkyou are the sanitory inspector? this is me! here is my identification. show me your business registration. look, it's just a jujube,it's good for health! extra nutrition, lots of vitamins! inspector, i care about you.
...get to work! yes, boss. stop shaking! give this customer a free bowl of soup. boss, insecticide! thanks! kills mosquitoes? no problem. it kills cockroaches too. you won't get away with this! definitely a cockroach, not a jujube!
i'll sue you! hey, still arguing? show me your id! have you got any proof? you want proof, right? cockroach leg! what cockroach leg? bastard! find it! come on, find it!
i will take it to the lab. i betthey'll find some proof in the soup! i'll get proof and sue you! please calm down! it's only extra protein! bye inspector! hope you enjoyed your meal. i wonder who's opening across the street? i hope it's going to be betting station. yeah, so you can hide there all the time! get back to work!
squid, i've been here for 3 months now. i work late every saturday,is there overtime salary? overtime?are you serious? you want a pension? you know, our boss is a real miser. you want extra money?don't even think about it. unless he loses his mind. overtime bonuses!one for each of my dear staff! you all get one. you guys work so hard.
and never complain. you've moved me to tears.i am so thankful to all of you! will you deduct this from our wages? of course not!go spend it, no problem! pan's daughter will get marry soon. let's buy her a wedding gift.i love you all so dearly. go home and have a good sleep! good night. hang on!
i plan to let go the garbage collector. so please do me a favor. each of you take a bag of trashto the collection point every night. you don't mind, right? thanks. i really thank you guys! a bag every night? this way, we can save labour cost! okay folks, have a good night. enjoy yourselves!
at least we got a bonus "red packet"! what! he bought us out for only hk$10! only hk$10! it should be at least hk$100 we've been fooled again! let's go! snow white and her 7 dwarves! watch out! stop there! mind your step, thefloor's just been waxed!
it's past midnight! youpolish the floor for what? please step on the newspaper. be care where you step. - i'm careful! - i'll get youa bowl of nice dessert. why is your motherbeing so nice to me? she must have done something wrong. no! did she lose money in mahjong gambling? no, we've been polishing the floor all day.
we got fined for not paying taxes? i don't think so. really? what then? why is she so good to me? honey, have some dessert. good stuff! stop that! you want to stay up polishing all right? clean it up!
honey, i'll run you a bath. how come she only shouts at me. she must have done something really bad! there is something wrongof the tv reception. honey, can you go outsideto fix the antenna? honey, i'm in a good mood tonight! no matter what you've done. just tell me. i won't get angry! go and fix the antenna!
come on, tell me the truth! wait! i know! you forgot to paythe telephone bill, right? i'm sure i'm right! i'm wrong? just fix it. it's embarrassing! it's embarrassing for our guest. guest? what guest? the queen? mom will arrive tomorrow and she wantsto stay with us for a few days.
its okay now, don't move! ~ tv music ~ mom will arrive at 2pm tomorrow. in that case, i'd better arriveat the airport by 1:30pm... you mean you're going to greet her? no! i'm going to takethe first plane out of here! dad, i want my pocket money! my pocket money! money? what pocket money? is this how you talk to your father?
do i owe you money? look at all these bills! electricity, water,school fees, all for you! i roast hundreds... ...of ducks just to feed you! look! all my fingers... ...are roasted too! you'll have to work yourwhole life to pay me back! don't take me for granted!
go to bed! leave him alone... ...don't give him a hard time! i'm not giving him hard time. it's not me, it's your motherwho will give us a hard time! we have nothing to talk about. she enjoys giving me a hard time. the furnitures are bad! your tv doesn't work! black and white tv?
have you heard of colour tv? still using an electric fan? do you know there's anew invention called... ...air-conditioner? look what's this? a see-saw? you should donate it to a kindergarden! look! and an ancient refrigerator! thank god there's food. a toaster! this was mywedding gift, wasn't it?
it still works? get a new one! try this suit. no way, i hate suits. okay... honey... satisfied? it's tight! you won't see it! let's buy a new one. my dear, it costs money.
i want you to look good on mom's birthday! she's not really the queen! what are you doing? the trousers split! now you've got to get a new suit. that's a lot of ducks to roast! honey, why don't you turn on the light? it's ok. the street lights are fine. - hey mrs chan, lookingfor you husband? - yes.
he's removing duck feathers in the kitchen. thank you, pan. - mrs chan. - how'sbusiness, mr hui? not too bad. - been out shopping?- yes... how about a duck? sorry we came from northern china. we don't eat cantonese roast ducks. bring me a plate of duck.
my dear, you can't say that.have you ever tried one? the hui's ducks are work of art. let me show you the stepsto appreciate a duck... wait, never use chopsticks. use your fingers. body contact. try it. now, caress it, lick your fingers. - the attitude during duck eatingis very important. - darling! the ducks are ready to be stuffed.
shut up! last, but not least, lickeach one of your fingers. for the reason... each finger has contacteda different part of the duck. that's why they all the taste different! that was a live demonstration! alan, wrap it up! i ate some. so give mrs chan aspecial 20% discount!
idiot, i used the recipeyou stole yesterday. i tried it but it didn't work! yeah? but i copied all the ingredients. remember our plan to open our own store? it won't happen with this stupid recipe! go! get the recipe right this time! chimp, hand me the toilet brush! here's the brush, boss! it's done. take it out.
that's it? yes. that's it. before you go, clean up the mirror! comic books! how much time have you spent in there? throw it away! - ah pang!- boss! bad news. danny's fried chicken isopening across the road! they'll compete with us!
compete? i've been roastingducks since i was 16! you really believe i amthreatened by frozen chickens? boss! that's danny poon! a young entrepreneurbefore the age of 30! bright guy! it's for me! poser! they are obviously outto compete with us.
they're no match! deep fried frozen chicken! it's greasy! good, the customers... ...will all come for our soup. what's all this cash? it's for pan's daughter's wedding gift. we want to give her a gold necklace. it's okay, don't bother!
no problem! it's not easy to find agood necklace, you know. well, i know a good goldsmith. i'll get it. how much do you have? eight thousand dollars. don't bother, you're too kind! it's no big deal! i'll get one worth $10,000.
i'll make up the rest! boss, you're so generous! $8,000, do we have a deal? okay, okay, $8,000 write $10,000 on the receipt. deliver it to my place. i must go to the airport now. don't give me that look, chan! thanks madamfor your valuable advice!
- hi...- grandma! bbq meat and chicken rice! to clean your mouth! mom! - i'll help you, grandma!- good boy! do you always look so awful? just joking! you've grown a lot! stand up straight!
tidy your room, i'll be up soon. didn't hui greet you at the airport? my flight arrived early. i'd rather not meet him anyway. you know i am not toofond of your husband. look what i got for you! a fur from siberia! happy birthday! my dear! it's lovely. i love it! thanks mom. you love hui. that meansyou are so easy to please.
what did he give you for your birthday? he didn't mention anything this morning... but he'll be back very soon. i am sure he'll surprise me tonight! he forgot your birthday, didn't he? oh my dear. i can tell. look at how he has treatedyou all these years. what did he give you last year? last year? last year, he gave...
did he give you anything? mom, have some tea! there are 3 types of husbands. the best give his wife apresent on her birthday. the second best give her a belated present. your husband is the worst! mom, money isn't everything. but caring is, does he care about you? welcome grandma!
honey! i am home! great news! there were no sign of your mom! perhaps the plane got hijacked! and she won't be getting any beauty sleep! i mean... i won't sleep...you can have my room! don't worry, i've booked a hotel room. i bought this shirt from hawaii for you. what? looks like a messy colour spill. son, it looks good on you.
mom, you look so good! don't you get tired of hong kong? this sofa has no springs. you should've bought a new one long ago. hui, you should take tammy on a holiday! you know, her sister hadher honeymoon in new york. the other sister honeymooned in japan. even her youngest sister went to thailand. and you? where did you take her?
lamma island! lamma island? that's in hong kong! the fishes are nice there. your tv is still in black and white? you still use an electric fan? have you ever heard of an air-conditioner? you could have ownedan air-conditioning company! if you married that... what's his name? james!
that's right, james! at last, something new! it is new, isn't it? an antique fridge! at least there's food! excuse me, my feet are aching. darling, he won't remember your birthday! i'll bet you anything he's forgotten! is mr. hui in? mr. hui ordered this.
thank you! mom, hui remembers my birthday! honey, thank you for the necklace! necklace? what necklace? thank you so much! try it on! the latest italian design, not bad huh? i knew you wouldn't forget my birthday! what birthday?
stop pretending! thank you! mom, my brother-in-laws might own farms... ...or hotels... or some restaurants. they might have huge mansions with pools. but i have my husband. he must have saved this moneyfor years to buy me this! okay, i'm wrong, i misjudged you! hui is the best.
i knew it all along! honey, i'll cook a nicedinner for all of us. you better! let me help you. hui, you're quite something! when does the bank close? in 10 minutes. mr. chan, here's $8000. make me another necklace.
sorry sir, the gold price went up,it now costs $8,700. okay, i owe you $700, just do it! a receipt for $10,000 again? of course! i saw a nun again. bad luck for gambling! what would you like, madam? plain noodles, with no lard please. one bowl of boring noodles! hey pang!
give our sister a vegetable platter. on the house. a plate of vegetable... i'm having my hair cut upstairs! sister is my best client! the boss treats her better than us. he thinks we're shit! and he pays us peanuts! one day i'll just quit!
in fact, there are so many jobopportunity out there. i want a raise! go tell the boss! give us a raise! hit him if he refuses. beat him up if he hesitates! also, make him apologise to us. if he refuses, we all quit. we'll quit together. right, all of us!
- who'll speak to him?- you! - agreed! majority rules! reading porno magazines again? no, it's hairstyling magazine! work on your maths, son. some day you mighttake over this shop. no way, i hate numbers! son, you are wrong. they arenot numbers. they are money. you need to learn math to make money!
but dad, i want to be a hairstylist! a barber? you call that a career? no dad. not a barber. it's the art of hairstyling. boss, we need to talk! yes, we do. how much do i give you guysfor haircuts allowance? 8 dollars... - how much is a bowl ofbbq duck rice? - 9 dollars...
right, an average person eatstens of bowls of rice a month. but only cuts his hair nomore than once a month! this guy do nothing with his hair... you couldn't even feed your wife! but dad, 8 bucks is no longer enoughto pay for a haircut nowadays. it costs at least $48. exactly, $8 isn't enough! $48! for a haircut? that's cheap.
sometimes it costs more! you come here! let meshow you something. please sit down. i will do it. i will show you a real hair cut. boss, i'm want to talk to you. squid, take a seat. you and i, we don't need to talk. squid, i like you. because you're an honest man.
you are loyal and very handsome. you're not like other ordinary staff. soon, my restaurant willbecome a limited company. when the time comes, all staff willhave a fair share of the company. every man will be a shareholder. so why so short-sightedin asking for a raise? you see, we not only work for ourselves. but also for... ...our children.
and our children's children.every one will be a shareholder. who will enjoy the profits forever. you know, our boss ain't so bad after all. he promised we'll all ownthis restaurant one day. so what's the point of a raise? we'll just be spendingour future profits. the boss is keeping it safe for us. have you been brain-washed? no, but my hair's washed!
not bad huh? it's disgusting! but the boss said it's the latest fashion! how could you let him do that? it's ugly! who would want this? who says it's ugly? from now on, haircut allowance is cancelled. come upstairs for your haircuts. okay? back to work!
lazy people! mom... looking for tammy? she's upstairs. make yourself at home! what a show! hey boss, look acrossthe street! what a show! let's have a look! mind your own business, back to work! d... a... n... n... y
boss look! fried chicken, who will eat such a thing? they're like running a circus! get to work! stop staring at thegirls! get to work! did you buy out the oldshop across the road? sir, they have a long-term lease. stupid! i want them out of here. this kind of mom and pop shop.will become extinct soon.
when it does, we willtake over this place. and that'll secure the whole street! yeah boss! tear down the stairs. okay! and these filthy walls. the kitchen's back there, right? hey, is the kitchen back there? move the kitchen to the backalley, make this space bigger.
yes! what a mess! it'll need lots of renovation work! are you here to eat or to criticize? take it away! - i hate those, getrid of it! - yes... change the door to automatic. yes... pay attention...
do it as soon as the shop closes down. arrogant bastard! i bet you will close down in 3 days! ladies and gentlemen, the opening ceremony. danny's chicken will always win. this is our first shop. in 6 months, we will open 100 shops. we'll be the talk of the town. here comes our guest of honour.
let's welcome our guestof honour - mr sam hui... your autograph please! hi ladies and gentlemen! i'm very happy to be here today. enough said. congratulations! it doesn't work, what a pity. goodbye! sam! friends, i formally announcethe opening of danny's chicken!
distribute the leaflets... you've roasted too many ducks today! it's because we haven't sold any! the customers have all gone to danny's. hang these 4 ducks up. that's enough, we are not selling any ducks! i am sure the studentswill come in and buy them. look across the street, they seemto be doing good business. perhaps people like to try new things.
but they will be back very soon. - smells good!- yes, smells good! see! here they come. table for 4? look, there's a new fried chicken shop! let's try it out! kids! i can say this for sure. they will be back within 3 days. or i'll cut off my head!
3 days! ah pan, a free vegiedish for our dear sister. checkmate! checkmate, you owe me $10! look, i can't believe it! attention work unit 5. welcome on board our air-conditioned bus. we're going to the firstcompany outing trip. work unit 5...
we are going to the beach! we are going to have lots of fun! wow, such a nice job! yes, indeed! let's have an early dinner today. ok let's call it a day. let's get some beer... cheers! for you.
drink with me! to us! we are like a family. aren't we? but that's not good! you know. because we are too ashamedto discuss our problems. we cannot improvewithout facing our problems. so tonight... i want you allto speak about our problems. be honest with me.
speak out so that we can change. okay? anyone? ready? you first. boss, i really like it here.there is no problem. yes, our shop is good. no problems! come on guys, there must be something. trust me, i won't take it personally. pan, you start. our shop is clean... but sometimes it's just a little bit dusty.
great, this is what i want to hear! go on! go on! we have a shortage ofstaff. sometime it's tiring. oh no... what i meant was... it's tiring for me to...serve so many customers. please continue. we must have some weakness. maria, please say something! what's on your mind? boss, sometimes you shoutat us in front of customers.
embarrass us. and you know... the ceiling is falling off. the place needs some repairing, boss! oh, yes, and the bowlsand dishes are cracked. the customers don't like it! no air-conditioning, boss! it's so hot working in here. i can't stop sweating! oh yeah?
the water tap isn't working. and you never send anybody to repair it. it's hard to get water to mop the floor. look, there are holes on our uniforms. we're underpaid, withoutovertime compensations! ...don't you remember i gaveyou money the other night? ...i promise you'll get more next time. boss, i always wantedto learn your roasting technique. but you never teach us anything.
but chimp, you just got here. i really hope to learn something. you hassle me when i'm in the toilet! i'll get haemorrhoids! i'll buy you haemorrhoid cream! bad management. poor leadership! boss, you're a miser. you are selfish! now... have you all expressed enough? look at yourselves. traitors!
boss, please don't get mad... we didn't mean it! my examples must be wrong. perhaps, some customers like cracked bowls! oh, yes, perhaps. right, you owe me moneyfor breaking those bowls! and who stole 4 bottles of beer yesterday? not just me... pan stole some ducks!
chimp tried to stealtoothpicks and soy sauce! maria found $100 dollarbill on the floor! ...and she pocketed it! no, i didn't! no more explanation! you're all thieves, andyou'll all pay me back! i don't care! i'm not afraid! is this a rebellion?
what if it is a rebellion? you always treated us so cruel. it's pay back time. let's do it! let's head to work for danny's shop! come on, let's go! do what you want, i won't stop you! i would rather work for danny's! squid, if you leave this door... don't ever come back again!
take a taxi. i will pay for you to leave. squid, think of your mother. who will feed her when you're jobless? and think about your dad. on his deathbed... he told you to stay with me.those were his last words. stop boss. i have had enough of this. i leave now. the others will come with me too!
you will be left all alone by yourself. come on! guys!come with me! guys! come with me! guys! hui, you are almostlate for mom's birthday. i'm not in the mood today. put on a suit. don't be late! there's no time to pick up my suit. taxi!
taxi! please! it's urgent! sorry, my shift's over! please, i'm in a hurry, please help me! i'm begging you, please! hurry! you can stop here now. i can't, there's a traffic warden. just a quick stop! no way!
tailor, get me my suit please! i'm in a hurry... please be quick! the traffic warden'scoming, i'll get fined. tailor, hurry up, please. the traffic warden's coming, quick! just throw it to me! i'll pay you tomorrow. no bags necessary.i will put it on now.
mr. hui your suit! boss, you have given him the wrong suit! driver, my destination is ahead. whyare you heading the opposite direction? i know. this is hong kong. this is the only way. another traffic jam! darling... darling, i paid $70 for the taxi! damn! i knew the tailor wasn't good!
at least it's a suit. it's mom's birthday. be careful what you say! okay, i'll shut up! i won't even breathe. let's get it right. remember the signal? this signal means "slow down". this one means "shut up", okay?
what if your mom picks on me? okay, okay, i'll shut up. remember the signals! no table manners at all! dear mom! happy birthday! thank you... you look so good! you look so young today!
you're all dressed up today! it's your birthday... i must show respect! casual dress is good on you. keep it cold for me please. you're welcome... four people. why are there8 pairs of chopsticks? a pair in each hand? honey, one pair's for serving!
which pair's for 'de-serving' then? got a new shipment? it's siberian silver fox. oh, it's beautiful! of course, your mother has good taste! i don't sell pig's skin! honey, you look smart in fur! no way. it reminds me of the poor animal.
shivering in the cold snow. 'help! i'm freezing to death!' nureyev's wearing my skin... ...where's yours? mine's gone to joan collins! we're in the same boat! poor us! enough, let's have dinner. let's have dinner. stop fooling around,they kill the animal first!
not skin them alive! humans are the only animals... ...that kill not just for food... but for showing off the skins! have you seen a tiger kill a crocodile... throw the skin on this back... and go around saying... 'its genuine crocodile skin!' 'look, he can only afford pig skin!'
honey! slurping shows your appreciation! right? tell me your instruction. its not hygienic to washchopsticks in the soup! family is ok! or do you have aids? the way you behave... no wonder your business is bad! you're only fits to run a food stall! it's a bbq duck restaurant, not a stall!
it has good prospect. the following programme is proudlysponsored by danny's chicken. it's called, "chicken wins all" why do they put the tv here? bothering customers. are you scared? their advertising is impressive! i can get you a discountfor a tv advertisement... people come for my ducksbecause they are delicious.
not because of advertisements. so what if it's good? people have to know! i'll invest some money. you can renovate your shop. good idea, mom, please do! stop joking, your mom'snot really interested! our profit will only getyou to lamma island! look, danny's shop is clean and pleasant... everybody likes it.
you're finished if you don't change! do you know what packaging is? bandaging? hui, packaging is a kind of promotion. packaging means gimmicks,gimmicks mean lying... i don't want to lie. presentation's important,even madonna had a breast job! mom, madonna's breasts are real! she squeezes them together so it looks big!
how can she sing with her hands like this? why not? i watched her all through the concert! she can't sing with hands like this! starlight, starbright... squeeze? holiday... sqeeze? huh? she lifts her right hand... ...her right boob drops. her left hand? the left boob drops!
when she was singing... and what if she lifts both hands? you stared at her breasts all night! i didn't pay $200 just for her legs! madonna's the real thing... so are my ducks! champagne! cheers! i don't want any! ...cheer?
you finish it! snobs! morning! morning boss! boss, read my comic book... boss, shall i clean upstairs? boss, i stole a bottle of soy sauce! do you want it back? look at you! you've become a chicken?
give me... good! you traitor! what have i done wrong? i took care of you for so long! for your mother's sake! i've been so kind to you all those years. this is how you repay me? come here squid, come back!
see, spineless worm! he will come back. you'll see... i am back for taxi fare! you promised you'd pay metaxi fare for me to leave. you want taxi fare? okay! taxi fare... here you go! is this what you want? i can tell you this much: you're worth $10!
you are worthless! i treated you all these years... where is the missing piece? boss, there's been accident outside! the tv stations are here! an accident? chimp, you take over. alan, let's go and take a look. at 4.30pm...
a minibus carrying 14 passengers... lost control and hit a fire hydrant... on north kowloon rd... the accident cut off... ...all water supplies in the area. fortunately no injuries. everyone unharmed. tvn news. see, free advertisement time!
advertising! let's move! the light's green, move! be cool, people are crossing the road. the light's red again... you waited for more passengers! it's illegal driving through a red light. i know you would hurry if the van was full! son, be honest with me. did you dine atdanny's with your girlfriend yesterday?
yes, dad. she said it'sair-conditioned and has a tv. and the service is good. son, how come you're so obedientto your girlfriend? green light, move! wait... passengers coming in. red light again, damn! red always comes after green! it's common sense.
okay, let's go! wait! can you see our advertisement? green light, go on! in here, you are not awaiter. you are not a chef. you are a star singer.your job is to entertain... ...your customers. you know you have a good job, if... ...your customers walksout humming your tune.
yes sir! can i take your order? one fried chicken. want some french fries? no, thanks. $5.8 please. what? that's expensive! the price is set by company, sir. why are you laughing?have you got no dignity?
you dog! sorry, no hot dogs, please come again. the customer is alwaysright, no matter what. let's practice! morning, can i take your order? you idiot! sorry! i don't like your face! swap around!
swap around and carry on! jump! don't be lazy! get set, go! come on... we sell fast food, we are efficient. we must move quickly to make money. come on. stop! 24 seconds, a world record! the slowest!
let's hold hands... danny's is our home... we'll march in faith... and create a bright future. you light up our lives... so we shall overcome... and burst forward! we are devoted to danny's... and will give our all.
let me see! free drinks with fried chicken! ready, go! danny's chicken is crispy and tender... the meat is sweet and we love the aroma. good, you get a free drink. next. how do they make a profit? good, you get a free drink. may i help you, madam?
one coke! do you want some freshly fried chicken? freshly fried "frozen" chicken! okay, a fried chicken too! the duck shop will close down soon. i don't like this smell! kids, today is simon's birthday. welcome to his birthday party! let's cut the cake!
make a wish. i'm not a surgeon. get me a camera! all this trendy furniture! hello, welcome to danny's! hello! don't indians eat with their left hand? i like throwing my food around! wouldn't you like some chilli sauce?
great! what do you use to marinate your chicken? it's a secret recipe from the u.s.a... what's in it? a secret! the ingredients are all imported. only we have it in hong kong! but it's only for chicken. even if that shop across thestreet uses it for his ducks... ...it won't help his business!
ah! you're a man! do you like it? welcome, mr. hui is herefor our secret recipe. stop it, or i'll destroy your camera... mr hui, one more! are you blind? ladies and gentlemen, special offer today! repeat our slogan in 5 seconds,and a free duck wing! let's try, 1-2-3...
hui's roast ducks are the best, the best. danny's chickens can go home and rest! crazy! who would eat a duck wing? duck's tongue would be more appropriate! these tables are sharp! these chairs are too low! - you can adjustthe height! - how? is the high enough? it's too high!
i'll just re-adjust it! its okay, it's fine! check please! some towels for the gentlemen. check please. tooth pick. what's that smell? what's going on? it's soaked in perfume...
perfume? it smells horrible! no thanks! i used my wife's perfume... it's expensive! how can you say it's horrible? it's so dark! can't see what i'm eating! welcome to the first bbqduck karaoke lounge! today is beautiful maria's birthday... would anyone like to sing her a song?
don't be shy, come on! you look like michael jackson, you start! come on! pan, come on! don't be shy! let's have some fun, relax! okay, i'll just pick someone at random. you, you the prince! sing with me!
if you want to sing... ...go sing in a concert hall! alright! i'll start! then you must all join me. okay? enjoy yourselves, music please! its hard to find a soulmate... ...and friendships don't last forever. today we may part, but... you'll be in my heart!
...we'll meet again one day. even if we don't... ...our friendship will be forever. mountains come between us, yet... is this a go-go bar? it's so noisy! let’s go to danny's... in this life... not so hard! ...friendship never lasts! come on!
leave it out! we hold hands as you leave... but you'll be in my heart! we may part now... ...but we'll meet again! we quarrel sometimes,but we're friends! mountains come between us... the duck shop's swan song! idiot! they can be miles behind...
...but we will not give them a chance! the poor old man is making a move nowdo something! friendship never changes... honey, are you alright? dad, the cassette player exploded,it belongs to my friend! so what? boss, they haven't paid! go after them then? i'll give you money to buy a new one!
help him upstairs! idiot! turn off the electricity! get some water! maria, help me clean up! it's alright now, forget what happened! get back to work. hello, little girl! do you like ducks? what do you want? wierdo!
mom, i'm scared! don't be afraid... one chicken, one free drink!buy one get one free! bbq ducks, buy one get one free! darling, you get one free duck! for 1 pound of duck, you get 1 free ounce! only one ounce! come on, let's go to danny's! okay, buy one pound, you get 1 pound free!
it's 1 pound of duck free! it's impossible! it must be rotten or stale! stale? it's a bargain! 2 roast ducks for the price of 1! welcome! dad, i'm starving! come on, i'm hungry! i want fried chicken!
they are my customers, don't you dare! don't move, i'm warning you! don't move, or i'll kill you! can't you show some mercy? give me a chance. i'm warning you! i'll kill you... i mean it! stop it! go to hell!
have some duck! i prefer chicken! eat me, eat me! the boss is in a fight! boss is fighting, come out! stop! come down! boss, get down! what are they doing?
some promotional gimmick! only some promotion tricks! 1, 2, 3, jump! turn around and move your hips! tell them to stop playing and come down! stop beating me! see! stop! i'll kill you! you're dead man! stop!
comic books? there's aren't any customers! but you're still getting paid! bastard! honey, let's face the reality. it's not working. we'll have to close down! talk to mom. it's only temporary, don't worry! welcome, take a seat!
she's better than nothing! even the nun left us. welcome miss... i mean sister, can i help you? a coke, french fries, corn with no butter. boss, their customers are all with us now. ...they'll close down soon! idiot! the duck shop is still open. they're still a threat to us!
get rid of them! i will go to macau tonight. you take care of business. i don't care what you do! you have two accomplices. the health inspector, and the news reporter. sir, you're back, take a seat! someone complained about rats in here. what rats?
no rats, see? but the walls are cracked. you wrap the duck with newspaper. all the utensils are dirty. your staff have dandruffand dirty nails! the toilet stinks! squid, look, you did it,it's all you fault! show me your id card! i'll have to pay penalty right?
yeah, for the time being. if i ever see a rat in here,i will shut you down! i'm back in my dream... and you will appear again! don't you like the song? aerobics! very strange moves. go away, go away... it's crazy here, let's go!
give me a chance. pick one! no way, hands off! 2 out of 3 then? no way, move! help me please! 2 out of 3! please... move! they're actually rabbits! get lost!
mind your legs. they're enormous! - i will shut you down.- they're just toys, calm down! sir! i will shut you down for sure. it's not my fault,i've been set up! stop! no photographs! go away! stop it, stop it, ori'll destroy your camera... they're actually mypets! move, get lost...
you son of a bitch! what can i do for you? look at this. this bloody chicken is raw! i want my money back! come on, give me my money back! quick i need to go now! what did he say? he wants his money back!
fill in a form. you must fill in the form. i don't want any form. i just want my money back! it says 100%satisfaction guaranteed! but you must fill in the form! i want my $20 back,you stupid chinese pig! he said, "you chinese pig!" you white devil, how dare you!
i'll kill you bastard! you insulted me,you called me what? i can say what i like, pig! excuse me, may i help you sir? you're the manager? this jerk gave me a rotten chicken. i want my money backand i want it now! - you prepare it,okay? - i'm sorry. i'm sorry.
sorry, sir... did you call him white devil? - but he called me chinesepig! - just answer me... - ...did you call himwhite devil? - yes! you're fired! what does "fired" mean? you're fired!return your uniform! okay, i'll go! i can'ttake this anymore! you're inhuman! i quit!
go away! did you know squid left danny's? i don't. i am not surprised. he's not a chicken anymore! let's take him back! he needs money to takecare of his old mother. hui, you treat both yourstaff like shit! and me too! what are you saying? just look at this necklace!
exactly, look at that necklace! look at the inscription! the name! it was for pan's daughter, right? that's why i said youtreat us all the same! if you treat them badly,they'll treat the customers badly! so how can your business be good? squid... talk to him. what is there to say?
i don't know what you're thinking! say... say. you screwed up... ...so what now? say! i've got nothing to say! why are you here then? huh? i want to use the toilet!
you coward, spineless worm! boss, we're all overworked! boss, i'm chopping ducksand busy with deliveries. man power is not enough... work load is too heavy for me. doing the shopping and the accounts! you think i'm superman? yeah boss, we're all exhausted! you 3 can stop it...
okay, tell him to get to work! squid! come out! boss, sorry! it tookso long to do my hair! maria, squid is back with us! if i'd known... i wouldn't have bothered! okay, get to work! nomore punk haircuts again! you look like porcupines! what a weird look!
a letter for you. our business isrunning down the toilet. it'll pick up. talk to mom, she might... forget your mom... she sells fur, i sell ducks. i'll sort it out! go to sleep. delicious bbq duck!
dinner time. welcome back, squid! with you here, we'll beat danny's! squid eat up, it maybe your last chance. why is our business so bad? here are 3 letters. one's from the government.they're closing us down! this is from the tax department.demanding 7 years' tax! 7 years! where willi get the money?
the last one is from my uncle. my uncle is interestedto buy out this store. so here is the solution. i'll sell the storeto uncle and pay my tax. so, no more bbq ducks! he's drunk, ignore him. my ducks aren't so bad... why is our businessso bad? tell me! i want to see hui!
what do you want? here's $900,000. i wantto buy out your shop! move out beforethe 8th of the month. sort out the paperwork with raymond. ...then you can cashthe cheque tomorrow! can you guess what my answer is? maria, forget what you owe me! squid, go visityour mom sometimes. she called and said she misses you.
chimp, come here! you have alwayswanted my recipe, right? look in the pockets. you have learnteverything- except that! now you have it, you'll be great! remember, never add corn starch! you don't have to look so sad! i will ask my uncle to keepyou guys on the pay-roll! so don't worry!
no problem!... don't cry... i said don't cry, be a man! honey, honey! come upstairs, we need to talk! i arranged to meet mom. why? we'll talk to her at the hotel! what for? it's allbeen said and done. she'll say "compromise, advertise"...
my many years ofexperience is useless. your mom will help us? listen to her, try to change! i've changed! i even sang a song! but it didn't help! i don't understand why customershave come to prefer 'frozen' chicken? ...and rats suddenly dropdown from the skies? go and talk to him! i'm not his son...
you go! so? what then? mom's waiting! she offers to pay for renovation. there's one word i'msick and tired of... that's "mom"! you know she despises me. i don't want her money! what choice do we have?close down your life's work? i'll get a job in a restaurant.
i think i can earn a good salary. hui, you'd ratherwork for someone else? i'm flexible. remember lamma island isas good as long island! they both have fish, don't they? - are you coming?- no! are you comingwith me? or not? i'll go without you! i'm not coming home tonight!
so i can have the whole bed! honey, wait!the hotel's too cold! the towels are dirty! what are you looking at? i told you hui's no good. he hasn't even called! he can't last a day without me! he'll call today. hello...
mom? this is hui, have you drank... i mean... eaten today? i'll be there. he asked me out for lunch! she never liked you... now you're begging her for money... not really... she wants to invest... she asked me...that's okay, i guess... admit it... you're just a scum!
only a monkey begs for money... hui! the coffee shop's there! it's nice here, come on. the orange juice is fresh! the napkins areclean, aren't they? would you like me to invest? turn it off! that hui is a fool!
still won't give up! they've got no chance! they'll close down in 3 days! come in, interview is inside. clean it up, over here. mind your feet! over there too! you need a shave. try some acne cream!
brush your teeth,your mouth stinks! what's so funny? give up smoking,your teeth are yellow! no smoking during work hours. wash your handsafter using the toilet. - alan!- what? you know, a friend of mine... he had a throatoperation last year... so he couldn't eatwith his mouth.
how awful! the doctor told him... ...he'd have to eatthrough his asshole! you are kidding? so he went home and practiced. 6 months later, hewent to see the doctor... the doctor said... 'how are you getting along?' he said, 'great! i eatbetter than before!'
the doctor said, 'congratulations!' ...and then asked, 'whydo you keep shaking?' he answered, 'well,i'm chewing gum!' alan, if i ever catchyour asshole chewing gum... i' ii block it up, okay? remember, customersare always right. even when they arebeing unreasonable. maria, come out and demonstrate! come on, you're brave!
be tolerant! i'll show you how. i hate your face! you stupid fool, idiot! it's only a demonstration,you don't have to beat me! we have our own regulations. each place has its own rules... if you reveal ourrecipe to outsiders... you will be cursed!
and die bleeding on the streets! your children willlose their souls... ...and your bloodline will cease! with our blood we take an oath! is this the triad society? or some religious cult? don't worry. nobody's getting hurt. this is duck blood. let's drink it!
go and give out these pamphlets! hui, congratulations! i'm going for lunch! i've reserved a place for you! free soup with our set lunch! it's an interesting menu! fried duck, bbq duck,broiled duck... ...steam duck, honey glazed duck... but i like chicken!
we also serve allkinds of chicken! hui's chicken isn't bad either! idiot! they had you fooled! the chicken doesn't taste good... it's their packaging! they've learnt! we'll sell bbq ducks! tomorrow! but boss, we don't knowhow to roast ducks! we don't need to know.the computer knows.
refund! maybe our ducks don't taste good? idiot! i don't wantto hear a problem. i want to hear solutions. dad, mom, i'm goingto do my homework! work on your maths! calm down, have aplate of vegetables! sister! you're back!chinese food's better, right? plain noodles, no lard please.
good choice! idiot! if business is slow,cut down some staff costs! i already have! use part-time. cut costs. yeah boss, how about wehire illegal immigrants... ...and then we report tothe police on pay day? what if we get caught? i want you to workas cashier after 5pm! hello all! your bonus!
one each, it'llbring you good luck... inside is your shareof the profits. we are now officiallya limited company. and you all have shares in it. shares? you mean hair? no, he said air! come on, don't tryand con us again! i really mean it. this is cute!
i'm on my way to shoot our ad.! advertising bringsprofits, right? get me those two things. you know what to do. hire 2 kids totake care of business. idiot! they'll set the fire. what if they blackmail us? you mean i do it?
you just volunteered! i was just talking to the sign! well, carry on talking! when will you do it?i'll book my ticket. you'll go to macau. so you'll have an alibi. it'll have nothingto do with you, right? honey, do you knowwhat day it is? today?
our wedding anniversary! exactly! this is the best oven... i've checked it out. what do you think, mom? isn't your anniversary next month... shh! let's cut cake! first, you light the rags. it's a criminal offence,i might get caught!
i'll watch out for your family. just "watch" out? i want $500,000! i need $500,000! raymond, where's your integrity? a year ago, you werejust a poor teacher. i paid for your training in japan. and i gave you a newlife as a manager here. you would have struggledand starved to death.
i won't do it unlessyou give me $500,000! write me a cheque! now. are you crazy? pay me and i'll do it! you're ruining my suit! i've got one more demand! stop calling me "idiot"! i'm not a dog! - how much do i pay you amonth? - thirty-eight thousand.
then you're a dog, a useless dog! see, a dog guards his home. you can't even guard my business! alright, just forget it! i just need an insurancefor my family! i'll do it if you pay me! mr. poon, i just want money! i've made you a fortune,just give me some! help!
danny's is on fire! fire! there's a fire! is there anybody inside? somebody's inside! where's the firehydrant? find a hose! there's a construction site, quick! pull out the pipe! boss, i don't knowhow to turn it on!
well, just pour somewater all over me! - i'm going in!- don't! do it, or you're fired! an oxygen tank, perfect! call the police! hurry, find a hose pipe... breathe in, get uptogether, follow me. give it to me! honey...
are you okay? i almost got killed by the water! what's up? move, let's take a picture... move, let us through... give me a job! sir, i'm cheap and work hard... sure, sure i'll employ you! i'll be back to get you!
i'll be waiting! - honey, are you okay?- i'm okay! look in the camera,over here please! - good. - this is for youto eat on the plane! thanks! mom, stay for 2 more months! i don't want to be a pain! don't say that! just send my profitsto my accountant.
don't just always thinkof your business. take good care of my daughter! of course, won't lether out of my sight! my daughter was right. you're not so bad after all. bye! dad, i've decided tochange my study subject. i'm going to studybusiness administration! business administration?
it's about managingand growing a business. i'll make our shop aninternational franchise! what do you think? that's my boy. betterthan being a barber! he changes his mind every month! no way, this will lastat least 2 months! then we'll talk again in 2 months! boss, the reporters are here! come in.
sir, how's the food? yes, food's betterand the place is nice! can i smoke? can i fart? my dear! wait, you mustn'teat duck with chopsticks! it'll feel pain,and spoil the taste. put it down. you must treat it lovingly... ...intimately. with passion.
before you eat it, you say: "dear duck leg, i'mcoming to eat you!" now, tenderly pick itup, and bite gently. it'll taste different, try it! - are you sure?- of course, try it. crazy! dear duck leg... i'm coming to eat you! mr hui, even the nunseat at your place.
oh, she's my bestcustomer! a loyalist. pan, free vegetables forour sister, on the house! mr hui you have been awarded'businessman of the year'. what is your key to success? it's all about people.your staff. your customers. also, you have tochange with the times... 'move, improve and groove!' stop chewing gum. the future is bright.
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